SCIFI-kortis
De två flottorna närmade sig varandra med knapp styrfart.
Mötet ägde rum 1AU från närmaste stjärna, som överenskommet mellan människorna och “anhängarna av Z’Lath” som den utomjordiska rasen ville bli kallad.
Amiralen i människornas flaggskepp kontaktade Komm-avdelningen och frågade:
“Har vi knäckt deras språk? Kan vi kommunicera mer än matematiskt och med enkla fraser?”
“Ja Amiral. Vi har en första version av det meddelande de sänt ut till oss de senaste veckorna.”
“Låt höra”
Komm-tolken harklade sig och dröjde en sekund.
“Ja..så här lyder det.
Vi, anhängarna av Z’Lath begär att ni vänder om, upphör med er expansion mot vår sektor och aldrig mer kontaktar oss. Om ni inte lyder kommer Z’Lath, som alltid är med oss, att annullera er existens.”
“Ok. Ett hot. Och deras flotta har inga vapen som vi kan känna igen?”
Det sista var riktat mot officeren vid SCI-konsolen på bryggan.
“Inga alls.” var svaret. “De är helt försvarslösa.”
Komm-tolken, som fortfarande var inkopplad, tog mod till sig och inflikade:
“Amiral, vi tror att betydelsen av “som alltid är med oss” faktiskt innebär att de menar deras gud är med dem nu och här. Z’Lath är med deras flotta, i vilken form det nu kan innebära.”
Amiralen, lätt irriterad över avbrottet, valde ändå att komma med en fråga.
“De har en avgudabild med sig?”
“Nej, vi tolkar det som att deras gud inte är abstrakt utan en närvaro av någon sort som de kan interagera med.”
Amiralen skrockade och sade, med nedlåtande ton.
“Vi har präster från fyra olika kristna kyrkor, en rabbi och en kvinna som ordnar bönekvällar kring ett fragment från Linus Thorvalds tumme ombord. Vi reder oss nog i böneavdelningen."
Han rätade på sig och vände sig mot DEF-officeren.
“Sikta in deras största skepp och avfyra alla primära va...”
..
4 miljarder år sedan. Jorden.
Z’Lath justerade gensammansättningen hos de primitiva livsformerna så att ingen högre intelligens någonsin skulle kunna uppstå och lät sedan sin närvaro återvände till dess tidigare tidsrumskontext, nu i trygg förvissning om att Z’Laths anhängare skulle framleva sina stilla, fredliga liv utan påverkan från ännu en krigisk, expansiv ras.
Mötet ägde rum 1AU från närmaste stjärna, som överenskommet mellan människorna och “anhängarna av Z’Lath” som den utomjordiska rasen ville bli kallad.
Amiralen i människornas flaggskepp kontaktade Komm-avdelningen och frågade:
“Har vi knäckt deras språk? Kan vi kommunicera mer än matematiskt och med enkla fraser?”
“Ja Amiral. Vi har en första version av det meddelande de sänt ut till oss de senaste veckorna.”
“Låt höra”
Komm-tolken harklade sig och dröjde en sekund.
“Ja..så här lyder det.
Vi, anhängarna av Z’Lath begär att ni vänder om, upphör med er expansion mot vår sektor och aldrig mer kontaktar oss. Om ni inte lyder kommer Z’Lath, som alltid är med oss, att annullera er existens.”
“Ok. Ett hot. Och deras flotta har inga vapen som vi kan känna igen?”
Det sista var riktat mot officeren vid SCI-konsolen på bryggan.
“Inga alls.” var svaret. “De är helt försvarslösa.”
Komm-tolken, som fortfarande var inkopplad, tog mod till sig och inflikade:
“Amiral, vi tror att betydelsen av “som alltid är med oss” faktiskt innebär att de menar deras gud är med dem nu och här. Z’Lath är med deras flotta, i vilken form det nu kan innebära.”
Amiralen, lätt irriterad över avbrottet, valde ändå att komma med en fråga.
“De har en avgudabild med sig?”
“Nej, vi tolkar det som att deras gud inte är abstrakt utan en närvaro av någon sort som de kan interagera med.”
Amiralen skrockade och sade, med nedlåtande ton.
“Vi har präster från fyra olika kristna kyrkor, en rabbi och en kvinna som ordnar bönekvällar kring ett fragment från Linus Thorvalds tumme ombord. Vi reder oss nog i böneavdelningen."
Han rätade på sig och vände sig mot DEF-officeren.
“Sikta in deras största skepp och avfyra alla primära va...”
..
4 miljarder år sedan. Jorden.
Z’Lath justerade gensammansättningen hos de primitiva livsformerna så att ingen högre intelligens någonsin skulle kunna uppstå och lät sedan sin närvaro återvände till dess tidigare tidsrumskontext, nu i trygg förvissning om att Z’Laths anhängare skulle framleva sina stilla, fredliga liv utan påverkan från ännu en krigisk, expansiv ras.
Boota inte om Uncanny X-Men!
LG kör 3D
Jag vill testa LG Cinema 3D, vill du? Läs mer här: http://smartsontestpilot.se/lgcinema3d/bli-testpilot/ och se videon nedan.
Från min Twitter - 100 pieces of good advice
100 pieces of good advice
1. Don't let your daughter marry a drummer
2. Never turn your back on a kitten.
3. It's better to sell when you're low than to buy when you're high.
4. A sweater turned up side down makes for bad long johns.
5. King Cunt never ruled England, but you could.
6. Change your shirt.
7. I really mean it, it smells. And get a life.
8. Never retweet.
9. Never suwwender.
10. Give Up. It's a great movie
11. You'll never be funnier than a monkey peeing in his own mouth.
12. If you unfollow me now, you won't have to read 88 more of these.
13. If you name your firstborn "Kim", the next two should be named "Jong" and "Il".
14. However, if you name your first cat "Kim", the next three have to be named "Card" and "Ash" and "Ian".
15. Grooming isn't just for internet predators. Shave, dress well and keep yourself clean.
16. The odds of your horoscope being correct are astrologically small.
17. That hot chick at the office you've been ogling? She's just as psycho as your wife/girlfriend. Don't bother.
18. If life gives you lemons, don't shove them up a nether orifice. Unless you're japanese.
19. Learn calligraphy. This internet thing is just a fad.
20. Try Paella. Or try to pay Ella, if she works for you.
21. Never run an internet brothel out of Manila.
22. Never speak out of an urn.
23. Don't go to Finland.
24. Beware of geeks bearing GIFs
25. When Darth Vader says "who's your daddy", start looking into cybernetic hands.
26. Be a grower not a shower.
27. Never pet a ninja.
28. If you're a 'tortured soul', don't go EMO, get professional help instead.
29.Spank THAT monkey.
30. It's not just Yu. There's a billion+ more Chinese.
31. Shave it.
32. Wax it.
33. Be a gentleman; pink before brown.
34. Never aim for the eyes.
35. Always follow the advice of an internet guru who can formulate a clear and concise message in under 140 characte.
36. Eat at the Riche.
37. At all times, attempt to maintain the same body temperature.
38. Always remove your socks before sex, especially if you're a band member in the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
39. Learn to play the harp. If you know what I mean.
40. Don't be the first to leave the band.
41. Read the good book daily.
42. Find it here: http://tinyurl.com/6fc2c6h.
43. Always offer to hold a lady's hair when she's barfing.
44. If elected pope, wear a funny hat.
45. Remember, "Front towards enemy".
46. Whatever you have been told, dingleberries are NOT real berries.
47. It's only illegal if you get caught.
48. Don't get caught.
49. If you're complimented on your 'gorilla dick', it's not really a compliment.
50. Start a diary. You'll love finding that blank note book when you're old and need to write a grocery list.
51. Happiness is a warm gnu.
52. Don't be afraid of the old. They're mostly harmless.
53. Always rebuke the sexual advances of hotel employees.
54. Always pick the blue wire.
55. After you've spread the ashes, keep the urn, it'll make for a nice spittoon.
56. Nail clippings are cheap tooth picks.
57. Hobos often have long, hard nails. (See advice #56)
58. If you are a white male, described as boyish, w some musical ability, do indeed play that music of a funky nature
59. Remember, you're not as smart as your mother says but not as stupid as your father says, either.
60. Help keep the Internet free from meaningless nonsense.
61. You can never reach the speed of light but you can go black.
62. If nature made you fat and ugly, it's your right to fuck nature.
64. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give him a Phish CD, teach him to hate music.
65. Always leave early. Don't leave a hundred on her nightstand though, it'll make her feel cheap.
66. Keep your taint dry.
67. If asked to dance, always blame injuries from 'Nam when declining.
68. It's not a date if she's in the morgue.
69. ATM is not just money from a machine. If you know what I mean.
70. Don't think of the cup as being half empty, think of it as two girls running out of stomach contents .
71. If you ever find yourself discussing THAT movie, remember that Ferris is the VILLAIN.
72. Yelling "mommy" is not considered "sexy talk" by most women.
73. ...but calling you "daddy" is. Women are weird.
74. If it hasn't died screaming it's not worth eating.
75. If it isn't brilliant by the time you're 75% done you should just sto
76. Science has shown that 'Fuck it' is a useful response to 100% of all potential scenarios.
77. Spend every day as if it were somebody else's last day.
78. Reflect on your top life experiences; really all that great or just a result of your limited maturity at the time
79. Everyone has at least one good book in them. Some have them rectally.
80. It's better to burn the evidence than to bury it.
81. Zumba is not for men.
82. If an attractive female is NOT unpleasant look for signs of mental illness.
83. Seriously, DON'T go to Finland.
84. It's not twee to tweet.
85. Don't be bitter on Twitter.
86. Learn to tie a proper Windsor knot.
87. That smell? It's most likely you.
88. If you're naked right now, you're winning.
89. Call your father every now and then. For fun, call your mother and ask if it's really, really the right guy.
90. Don't spend a lot of time on pointless activities that amuse only yourself and annoy others.
91. Always leave obvious clues for the clueless.
92. When in doubt, add a monkey.
93. It's a sin against nature to leave a cow untipped.
94. Cheese graters and male genitalia should be kept apart. Far apart.
95. If you gather all gold ever mined on earth in a cube ur going to end up with a sore back and Interpol after you.
96. The end is near.
97. Never come between a mother bear and her Offspring CDs.
98. If you can't be with the one you love, there's always Internet porn.
99. Speak softly and carry a big chapstick.
100. Never give away advice for free.
101. Learn to count.
1. Don't let your daughter marry a drummer
2. Never turn your back on a kitten.
3. It's better to sell when you're low than to buy when you're high.
4. A sweater turned up side down makes for bad long johns.
5. King Cunt never ruled England, but you could.
6. Change your shirt.
7. I really mean it, it smells. And get a life.
8. Never retweet.
9. Never suwwender.
10. Give Up. It's a great movie
11. You'll never be funnier than a monkey peeing in his own mouth.
12. If you unfollow me now, you won't have to read 88 more of these.
13. If you name your firstborn "Kim", the next two should be named "Jong" and "Il".
14. However, if you name your first cat "Kim", the next three have to be named "Card" and "Ash" and "Ian".
15. Grooming isn't just for internet predators. Shave, dress well and keep yourself clean.
16. The odds of your horoscope being correct are astrologically small.
17. That hot chick at the office you've been ogling? She's just as psycho as your wife/girlfriend. Don't bother.
18. If life gives you lemons, don't shove them up a nether orifice. Unless you're japanese.
19. Learn calligraphy. This internet thing is just a fad.
20. Try Paella. Or try to pay Ella, if she works for you.
21. Never run an internet brothel out of Manila.
22. Never speak out of an urn.
23. Don't go to Finland.
24. Beware of geeks bearing GIFs
25. When Darth Vader says "who's your daddy", start looking into cybernetic hands.
26. Be a grower not a shower.
27. Never pet a ninja.
28. If you're a 'tortured soul', don't go EMO, get professional help instead.
29.Spank THAT monkey.
30. It's not just Yu. There's a billion+ more Chinese.
31. Shave it.
32. Wax it.
33. Be a gentleman; pink before brown.
34. Never aim for the eyes.
35. Always follow the advice of an internet guru who can formulate a clear and concise message in under 140 characte.
36. Eat at the Riche.
37. At all times, attempt to maintain the same body temperature.
38. Always remove your socks before sex, especially if you're a band member in the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
39. Learn to play the harp. If you know what I mean.
40. Don't be the first to leave the band.
41. Read the good book daily.
42. Find it here: http://tinyurl.com/6fc2c6h.
43. Always offer to hold a lady's hair when she's barfing.
44. If elected pope, wear a funny hat.
45. Remember, "Front towards enemy".
46. Whatever you have been told, dingleberries are NOT real berries.
47. It's only illegal if you get caught.
48. Don't get caught.
49. If you're complimented on your 'gorilla dick', it's not really a compliment.
50. Start a diary. You'll love finding that blank note book when you're old and need to write a grocery list.
51. Happiness is a warm gnu.
52. Don't be afraid of the old. They're mostly harmless.
53. Always rebuke the sexual advances of hotel employees.
54. Always pick the blue wire.
55. After you've spread the ashes, keep the urn, it'll make for a nice spittoon.
56. Nail clippings are cheap tooth picks.
57. Hobos often have long, hard nails. (See advice #56)
58. If you are a white male, described as boyish, w some musical ability, do indeed play that music of a funky nature
59. Remember, you're not as smart as your mother says but not as stupid as your father says, either.
60. Help keep the Internet free from meaningless nonsense.
61. You can never reach the speed of light but you can go black.
62. If nature made you fat and ugly, it's your right to fuck nature.
64. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give him a Phish CD, teach him to hate music.
65. Always leave early. Don't leave a hundred on her nightstand though, it'll make her feel cheap.
66. Keep your taint dry.
67. If asked to dance, always blame injuries from 'Nam when declining.
68. It's not a date if she's in the morgue.
69. ATM is not just money from a machine. If you know what I mean.
70. Don't think of the cup as being half empty, think of it as two girls running out of stomach contents .
71. If you ever find yourself discussing THAT movie, remember that Ferris is the VILLAIN.
72. Yelling "mommy" is not considered "sexy talk" by most women.
73. ...but calling you "daddy" is. Women are weird.
74. If it hasn't died screaming it's not worth eating.
75. If it isn't brilliant by the time you're 75% done you should just sto
76. Science has shown that 'Fuck it' is a useful response to 100% of all potential scenarios.
77. Spend every day as if it were somebody else's last day.
78. Reflect on your top life experiences; really all that great or just a result of your limited maturity at the time
79. Everyone has at least one good book in them. Some have them rectally.
80. It's better to burn the evidence than to bury it.
81. Zumba is not for men.
82. If an attractive female is NOT unpleasant look for signs of mental illness.
83. Seriously, DON'T go to Finland.
84. It's not twee to tweet.
85. Don't be bitter on Twitter.
86. Learn to tie a proper Windsor knot.
87. That smell? It's most likely you.
88. If you're naked right now, you're winning.
89. Call your father every now and then. For fun, call your mother and ask if it's really, really the right guy.
90. Don't spend a lot of time on pointless activities that amuse only yourself and annoy others.
91. Always leave obvious clues for the clueless.
92. When in doubt, add a monkey.
93. It's a sin against nature to leave a cow untipped.
94. Cheese graters and male genitalia should be kept apart. Far apart.
95. If you gather all gold ever mined on earth in a cube ur going to end up with a sore back and Interpol after you.
96. The end is near.
97. Never come between a mother bear and her Offspring CDs.
98. If you can't be with the one you love, there's always Internet porn.
99. Speak softly and carry a big chapstick.
100. Never give away advice for free.
101. Learn to count.
Serie
Poesivecka
I livets tennismatch
Slår jag smash på smash
Jag är Boris Becker
Du är min Martina Navratilova
Jag går på nät
Du backar
2 bollar i ansiktet
Du bara ler
40-LOVE!
Slår jag smash på smash
Jag är Boris Becker
Du är min Martina Navratilova
Jag går på nät
Du backar
2 bollar i ansiktet
Du bara ler
40-LOVE!
Tveksamma raggningsfraser del 4
"Men du, var inte sån! Din mamma säger aldrig nej!"
Tveksamma raggningsfraser del 3
"Jo, men jag gillar sådana där grå möss som du!"
Tveksamma raggningsfraser del 2
"Jag hoppas du inte låter mycket under sex, de andra tjejerna i min källare vaknar så lätt."
Tveksamma raggningsfraser del 1
"Jag vill ligga med din kropp"
Svenska brottslingar - del 1
Förövare: Malin på Saltkråkan
Brott:
Förstört generationer av svenska mäns kvinnosyn genom att sätta en ouppnåelig standard för flickvänner och fruar..
Brott:
Förstört generationer av svenska mäns kvinnosyn genom att sätta en ouppnåelig standard för flickvänner och fruar..
Apan kom tillbaka!
Apan kom tillbaka!
För jag längtar efter dej
Kom innan sommarn är slut lilla apan
Åskan har gått
Och om kvällen blir det mörkt
Stjärnorna syns nu på himlen igen
Allt jag vill ha är bilder av nakna föredettingar
Ingenting annat det kostar för mycket
På våran dator är det nu så mycket trist
Och fullt med gamla bilder
Har Samantha Fox där
Detta har jag skrivit nästan bara själv
Och jag ska börja i rehab till hösten
Apan kom hem
Jag vet något som du får
Nu slutar brevet
Från din
Fan
http://apgap.blogspot.com
När får män byta efternamn?
När Svea Rikes armé tilldelar dem ett nytt namn utefter egenskaper eller förjänst.
Då och Nu
Då Nu
| Ert barn har verkligen spring i benen! | Ert barn har ADHD |
| Han har verkligen glimten i ögat! | Han är en rundknullande otrogen horbock |
Haiku
Punk rock girls with perky tits
Sleeping all day
Hairy white legs
Bushy pink cunts
Rock on, pale girls, rock on
Sleeping all day
Hairy white legs
Bushy pink cunts
Rock on, pale girls, rock on
